He will carry me

And even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of him
whose love will comfort me
and when all hope is gone and I've been wounded in the battle
he is all the strength that i will ever need
he will carry me

That is the song that I have been singing the past couple of days. I particularly do not like being around depressed people and it sometimes gets on my nerves. I have never really been depressed and when I do get sad I usually get up and do something. However I know that we have to let our stress out because we can't keep it all in side.
So where am I going with this.....I really don't know how much of this I can handle. I have never had a nervous break down but I feel like it could easily happen. I was talking to Mariano last Friday night. We talked for an hour and I was helpless because all he did was cry. Mariano said that he had no one to talk to there. Mariano said he missed church so much. I gave him a CD and he said he was excited because he remembers the strength that he would get from services. So he said he was feeling low and got the CD out. He started listening and he said he just knew he would get strength and encouragement from it. However, wherever my luggage went when it got lost, I guess it scratched the CD because he couldn't tell anything not even who was singing. So Mariano said he just cried more. Mariano said that he reads his bible but he just feels like he has been cut off. Mariano was questioning if he had done the right thing or not or should he just stayed and hoped that they would legalize him. So I am crying on the phone too because I know exactly what he is saying. I asked him if he ever felt like finding a field or a place in the woods where no one was around and just scream til our voice was gone. He laughed and said yes. I have felt like that several times!!!! But you know I have the song up above several times and sung along but never knew what I was singing till last week. But I think that was God's planning. Yea, our battle looks dim and moving to Guatemala is not out of the picture totally. I have never felt like God would never have me move there. I don't want to think that but we still have to think of that option and yes it would kill me. But I didn't the words to give to Mariano Friday night other than to just cry with him. But Saturday I got up and was singing this song again and knew that I had to remember the what God has done in the past. God allowed mini-victories in this long trial and that there were several times that Mariano could have gotten departed. We have to think on those things. The song goes on to say that He never said it would be easy, But he said he would see me through the storm.
Sometimes when I go through trials I wonder how does God know what we are really feeling or did Jesus go through a trial similar to mine so that he could talk to God? But Bro Ken prayed with me one Sunday morning, I think last Sunday morning, but he said that Jesus knew what separation was because he suffered it being away from God. Although father and son vs. husband and wife, the relationship is different but he can relate to it.
Mariano and I both agreed that the last trip was good to see each other because we had changed and I do feel like it was needed, however the strength that we had to carry us through before that, we are having a hard time finding it. Even though we know where it is and we are continuing to seek it, it is has been a hard two weeks. Mariano's work is slow so he has a lot on his mind and has time to think. He said that there has been several times that he has just cried and his nephew who sometimes stays there with him, just comes over and gives him a hug.
I am so ready for this trial to end.....I said jokingly to Mariano, that if I know what I knew now that I probably would not have given him a second chance when we were dating. Mariano and I did split up. Surprisingly we both fell for each other on the rebound then split up then realized that we did actually love one another. But did I ever know what was ahead of me......but it is in God' planning.......