Trying to be perky....

I don't like being down at work or even being down at all but sometimes it is just hard to be uplifting to others. I went in the canteen today and was heating my food up and someone hollered my name. It was a friend and she came over to me. Her daughter and son in law are going through the same situation as Mariano and I are. She came to tell me that her daughter and son in law was at the airport as we were speaking trying to find a flight home because he got approved to come back from the states. So I was happy for them because I don't wish this upon no one as far as the trial comes. I think they have like 2 kids together. So I come back to my desk and just cry. Sometimes I am glad that I am the only in up here that stays in for lunch because I don't want people seeing this side of me. But my flesh is screaming out WHY??? Why couldn't my trial be only 2 months? Why can't that be me that is at the airport waiting on stand by to come home WITH my husband?? Why can't it be us to be walking through the airport hand in hand trying to close an end to a chapter in our lives and celebrating victory??